January 23, 2018

[OS/Eng.] FTISLAND 'LOVE THE RADIO' (SEUNGJAE)










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genre  :
  a/u,  songfic

pairing  :  seunghyun  x  jaejin
rating  :  pg-13
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"how long will i love you...
as long as stars are above you and longer if i can

how long will i need you...
as long as the seasons need to follow their plan

how long will i be with you...
as long as the sea is bound to wash up on the sand

how long will i want you...
as long as you want me to and longer by far

how long will i hold you...
as long as your father told you as long as you can

how long will i give to you...
as long as i live through you however long you say

how long will i love you...
as long as stars are above you and longer if i may"



"wow, seunghyun-ssi, your english accent is very sexy. listeners, do you agree with me?"

"haha, not that much."

"i really believe you just made all of us blushed! alright, that was the acoustic cover of ellie goulding's how long will i love you by song seunghyun, our tonight guest. everyone, let's give a big hand for him."

"thank you."

"but, usually, our guests use their own songs to sing or play here. why do you choose ellie's? why this song?"

''i think your fans are so bored with my works haha."

"nah, kid, you're absolutely wrong! song seunghyun's latest single neolaneun gyejeol just hits number one on the station's weekly chart. maybe they get bored because we play it for about twenty times a day, due to plenty of request messages we've received."

"okay okay, i was just kidding. actually, i choose this song because i want to sing it for someone..."

"wait a sec! my lovely listeners, did you here that? oh my goodness! seunghyun just told us he's in love!"

"haha yeah."

"oh god! pd-nim, please call an ambulance. i think i'm going to faint."

"don't you dare! if you leave then who will be the dj?"

"good question, everyone, it's 10:36 pm now and you're with special dj song seunghyun on LOVE THE RADIO--"

"wait what..."

"for the tonight topic, i guess you guys already know, our dj's gonna share his sweet and romantic lovelife story that has never been told before..."

"please, stop that haha. i... i don't think people want to know--"

"woah! look at the monitor. your fans are now going crazy about the news. i can't catch the sms. they're going too fast. seunghyun-ssi, could you read some of them for me please?"

"ah... yeah, give me a second to... oh guys just calm down haha."

"what is it?"

"it's from lee hongki... seems like a fanboy... he says 'my wife really likes you but can you tell me the name of your gf so i can make sure that she is not cheating on me?' haha, this is really funny."

"so you still think he's your fanboy? haha"

"not anymore. uh... can i say something to him?"

"of course, you haven't answered his question yet."

"isn't he joking?"

"come on kid! you've got to prove that you're clean haha."

"well..."

"what's her name? who's that lucky girl? tell us please!"

"sorry to say that i'll give you the first letter only."

"it's okay. whatever you want."

"alright, the name... it begins with J."

"so, we finally have a clue. let's find out who she is!"

"and, to lee hongki-ssi, i am one hundread percent sure that even though your wife likes me, she loves you. don't worry. just buy her my next album haha."

"that's very useful advice. now we can go back to the main topic."

"i once thought the main topic was about my recent work."

"yes, it was, in the past."

"but you've changed it? when--"

"five minutes ago, yep! so, why don't we pick another sms from your fans... ah i got this, 'oppa, how did you meet her? and so now you're taken?' two questions. two answer."

"well, to be honest, i'm not in a relationship yet."

"wait... but you just--"

"and for the question 'how did i meet J?', umm let me think... when we were in middle school..."

"really? that means you have known each other for a long time."

"yeah."

"and you've been falling in love with her since then?"

"uh no, J is not my love at first sight, not really..."

"not really?"

"i'm not exactly sure when it started, my feeling for you, but i know it never changes."

"aww what you just said is like she's listening to us all along."

"i hope so."

"seunghyun-ssi, you're such a romantic guy. i'm kinda envious of her. but, what do you mean you're not in a relationship yet?"

"i... am waiting."

"oh... well, okay everyone! it's time for another pretty song chosen by our guest. this is nct's doyoung and sejeong of gugudan's star blossom. he wants to send it as a gift for tonight to you all."



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     "you went outside today?", said the man who just arrived home.


     no answer.


     "did you go visit him?" seunghyun walked into the living room talking to his only housemate. "have you eaten anything yet?"

     "i'm not hungry."

     "jaejin, you don't look well." he looked at his pale face attentively. "it's a bit rainy today. did you walk in the rain?"

     "just a little."

     "want some hot cocoa? i can make it for y--"

     "are you deaf? i said i'm not hungry."


     the house turned silent again after that cold-hearted sentence. seunghyun moved himself into his bedroom. he's still wondering about what he had told jaejin to do...


     "i'll be appearing on a radio program tonight. make sure you don't miss because i've got something for you."


     no one may think he had listened to the show, according to that weird and awkward situation when two of them met each other.

     but, what if it is something the musician gets used to already?



.
.
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     "why don't you go to bed? it's so late now." sleepless guy asked another resident who was sitting on the couch staring at tv but not focused on anything in it. "are you dozing off?!?"

     "huh, what the h--" jaejin awakened from sleep as seunghyun turned the television off.

     "go to your room, jaejin."

     "but i want to watch the show."

     "i saw you sleeping and i didn't think you wanted to watch the TVCs at 2 am."

     "so what? i can do everything i want." he replied with an expressionless face. "and for me, the word everything means everything that is not your business."
     

     the man forced himself to smile at him.

     is it a normal thing here?
     yes, it is.

     is jaejin the same person as 'J' which seunghyun mentioned in that radio program?
     yes,
     he is.


     "and you know what, seunghyun, those TVCs are even better than that silly song you played."

     "what!?...why--"

     "by the way, thanks for not revealing my name. i really hate being famous."

     "why are you so cold to me?" the taller one came closer, gazing at the one and only person he's been falling in love with for more than ten years intentionally. "why do you always reject me? it's been two years. you need to move on rather than just sit on the couch thinking of a thing that doesn't exist anymore."

     "move on? move on what? to love a monster like you?!?"


     everything didn't turn out the way seunghyun expects. jaejin began to cry. many tears were falling down from those sorrowful eyes and all he can do was just watching...


     "you'll never know how much this monster loves you."

     "of course, i won't." jaejin gave seunghyun another familiar cold-blooded look as he didn't even care if what he had said would break the other one's heart.

     "and all of things it does for you..."

     "please, stop trying to be like him. it doesn't work."

     "wh...what are you talking--"

     "this time, i beg you" he paused the sentence to swallow his whimper "to stop trying to be sehyun."

     "..."

     "if you think you can replace him, you're absolutely wrong."



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     it's been two years since that day...

     when jaejin lost his lover
     and i... lost my brother.


     "i'm sorry."


     we were very drunk that night. sehyun said he couldn't even walk, so i offered myself driving him home.

     and... it happened.


     "you son of a bitch! he died...because of you!"


     there's no more optimistic and warm-hearted man i'd known. jaejin changed a lot after the car accident while i became an evil for him.



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     dear god,
     why not me?

     if you don't want me to be loved,
     why didn't you take me instead?



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     "just give me one more chance..." seunghyun knelt down in front of the man he's been loving for so long. "i promise i'll take care of you as much as he did."


     back in the past, they were such really close friends and then jaejin met sehyun, seunghyun's little brother.

     things changed after that, 
     except his love for jaejin.


     "you can't even save your brother..." he looked away to hide his tears. "and now you want to take care of me--"
     "for all my life. jaejin, please... i love you." it's not the first time seunghyun said that. "i only need just one chance."
     "sorry."
     "..."
     "i've given it to you...back when we're young. but you let it all go."
     "what do you mean?"
     "i'd been waiting for you to say you love me until sehyun..."
     "what... no..."
     "and it's too late now."



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     "i can't love you again."




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the end
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 writer's part 

    thank you so much for reading til the end LOL this is my first ever english fanfiction 🎉 well, english is not my first language so guys please feel free to correct my grammar 😊 you can tell me what you think or give me any advice by leaving a comment below 👇

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